Seedler's Marketing Update

Seedler the Squirrel and the Alliance of The Woods
Marketing Update
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Date: 03/30/2010
Manuscript Complete: 03/05/2010
Marketing Begin Date: 03/12/2010
Agents Contacted: 65
Source: AgentQuery, Writers' Market
Rejections: 10
Requests for M/S: 0
No Reply: 55
Publishers Contacted: 0

Chapter 10: Dead Wood

At 8:15 on Tuesday, the security bat from the front lobby telephoned Ms. Hazel to tell her that Cuffy and Carol had reported for their new jobs. Ms. Hazel met them up front. She gave them their new badges and hardhats, and walked them back to Seedler’s office.

“Mr. Seedler, your new Wheelers are here.” Then she whispered disappointingly, “They’re a little late.”

Seedler rose from behind his desk, “It’s all right, Ms. Hazel,” and then glanced understandingly at the two munks. “I’m sure it won’t happen again. Probably just had trouble finding the tree.” She strutted away muttering something about this being the biggest tree in The Woods.

Once she was gone, Seedler walked Cuffy and Carol back to the Nut Production Department, “Let’s get you two started, shall we?” They entered the factory hollow, and descended to the floor where there were two unused wheels and several bored-looking munks standing around near two idle elevators.

Seedler approached the empty wheels and explained, “This job is very important. We’ll need you to power these wheels. They’ll take the Climbers up to the branches, and move the nuts down to the Haulers. Why don’t you give it try?”

The two munks tentatively climbed into the wheels, and cautiously took a couple of steps. The wheels moved slightly, and the conveyors and elevators nudged forward. “That’s it,” said Seedler. “Keep it up.” They took a few more steps and made the belts move a little faster. “Good!” directed Seedler as the group of Climbers and Haulers watched them, a little nervously. They got up to speed, slowed down to catch their breath, and started back up again. They finally got to a point where they were running in place, and the elevators and conveyors began to move at full speed. “Excellent, you two!” Then he addressed the rest of the staff. “Well, Climbers, Haulers, the lines are working again. Time to get back to work.” Satisfied, Seedler climbed back up out of the department and headed back to his office.

A few of the Climbers began to get on the elevators and rode them about halfway up when Cuffy and Carol began to get tired. They slowed from a run to a slow trot, then to a walk, then to a dead stop. As a result, the elevators slowed, and then with a jolt, stopped hard. The Climbers riding the elevators teetered dangerously, waving their arms around to keep their balance so they didn’t fall.

Cuffy and Carol were panting hard, completely out of breath. The Haulers were still watching them, and they called another, more experienced Wheeler over to try to give them tips, “Left…Right…Left…Right…C’mon…Breathe in…Breathe out…Keep it up!” The Haulers and a lizard kept an eye on them as they worked the wheels—poorly.

They tried again and the elevator restarted. One of the Climbers made it to the top, hurried off the elevator, and kissed the floor in relief. Eventually, the two munks tired again. They started and stopped, sped up and slowed down, panting and resting, until eventually Cuffy’s wheel broke and became dislodged. The lizard shook his head in disgust, and began to tinker with the wheel. The Climbers looked down at the two munks and were terrified. One of the Haulers left to report the problems to Seedler.

He returned to find the shop floor in chaos. A wheel was broken, there were terrified munks up in the trees with no way down. No nuts were moving, and Cuffy and Carol were collapsed in exhaustion in the wheels. Seedler surveyed the situation and said, “Maybe this isn’t the best job for you two.”

“Let’s try you two out as Haulers, instead,” Seedler suggested. “This job requires a little more brains and a little less brawn.” He called two of the Haulers over to man the wheels, and showed Cuffy and Carol what to do. He showed them how to take the nuts off the conveyor, inspect them, transfer them to the rail cart, and move them out. “Now you two try it.”

The conveyors were already working at full throttle, and the acorns began to arrive at the bottom from the limbs. Seedler watched them for a moment as they each removed a few nuts from the conveyors, inspected them as instructed, and placed them in the rail cart. They seemed to be doing all right, so Seedler excused himself and headed back to his office.

Left alone, Cuffy and Carol did the Hauler job for a while, but quickly became bored. Inspecting and transferring the nuts was not fun. Back in The Tiny Grove, they played games all day. The only reason they came to The Woods was for the acorns. They began to think of fun ways to do the Hauler job. They tossed the acorns back and forth to each other, took bites out of them, and juggled them playfully before transferring them to the rail carts. The nuts they didn’t take bites out of, they accidentally broke with their careless play, and there were shattered acorns and broken shells all over the factory floor.

Again, Seedler got wind of the situation, and came back to find another huge mess. A few of the other munks complained that Cuffy and Carol were making their jobs harder, and creating a safety hazard. Seedler decided that maybe this job wasn’t for them either.

Finally, he suggested they try the Climber job. “You’ll get to ride up twenty feet to the branches,” he said, and Cuffy and Carol became fascinated that they would have such exciting duties. “First, you ride the elevators up to the branches. Then you clip the nuts. Then you stow the nuts onto the baskets, and the conveyors take them down to the factory floor. Think you can do that?”

“Oh, yes,”

“We can do that.”

“Certainly!”

“It sounds so exciting!”

“And fun!”

So Seedler directed them towards one of the elevators. But when they approached it, they both looked up. The branches were really high. The very thought of riding all the way up there made them dizzy.

“There you go…hop on,” Seedler said. The two munks were turning green. “Oh, go on. It’s not so bad.”

Carol cautiously stepped towards the elevator, and Cuffy followed her hesitantly. They held on tight as the Wheeler powered the elevator quickly up to full speed, and they soared up to the branch at the top. It was higher up than they’d ever been, and, rather than get off, they held on to the elevator cable for dear life. The munks below shouted instruction and encouragement, but they couldn’t bring themselves to get off. Neither of them had clipped a single acorn when Seedler gave up and brought them back down, shaking with fear. “Why don’t you two go wait in my office,” he said, and they staggered out of the department. Seedler helped them down the hall, and they both collapsed, exhausted and nauseous, onto a couple of chairs in the office. He had to get them both a drink of water to calm them down.

The two munks took the rest of the day to recover, but they began to stir when the day approached quitting time. Seedler was piddling around in the office, not doing much of anything, when they finally had the strength to speak up.

“Mr. Seedler, sir…”

“Thank you for bringing us to The Woods.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“We really appreciate it.”

“We really do.”

“Yes, we do.”

“We’ve had a very hard day.

“Very hard.”

“Yes.”

“Do we get acorns today?”

“We tried very hard.”

“Don’t you think so?”

“You’ve always been just and fair.”

“And we’ll return tomorrow.”

“And try again.”

“Even harder!”

And even though they didn’t do a particularly good job that day, Seedler gave them five acorns apiece, and they left for the evening. The next day, and every day thereafter, Cuffy and Carol reported for work, always a little late. And every day they went to the Nut Production Department, but mostly wound up messing things up. They always ended up hanging around in Seedler’s office, not doing much of anything. But Seedler gave them their acorns anyway. Pretty soon, they began to go straight to the office, and forgot about Nut Production entirely, and it wasn’t long before they began to simply come in, collect their nuts, and leave.

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Down the hallway, Plujo was doing very well as a Salesmunk, and after some time, Snick met with Mr. Filbert and Ms. Hazel to discuss his future. Plujo was on the fast track now, so Mr. Filbert decided to promote him again, this time to the Bean Counting Department.

He was one of four Bean Counters at the Nut-ro-Soft Company, and he worked just as hard there as he did in his other jobs. They gave him his own cubicle, visor, and adding machine, which he quickly mastered. He could add and subtract so fast he had to keep extra mosquitoes near his desk, because he wore them out so often and constantly needed refills. Plujo diligently and carefully inspected the bills, ran inventory reports, summarized the revenues, and double-checked the expenses.

Plujo asked a lot of questions, too. He was always pestering the other Bean Counters. He wanted to learn the job as quickly as possible. Since he was new, he needed to understand how many acorns usually went out, and how many came in, so he could report any irregularities to Mr. Filbert.

It was here that Plujo learned about Mr. Filbert’s big plans. He was saving up to expand the berry division, and he would need every acorn possible. It was a huge investment. Mr. Filbert needed to buy a tree that was close to lots of berries. He needed to buy all the new equipment—the conveyors, the rail carts, and the wheels. He would need to hire a lot of new employees. That was where Plujo came in. His job was to make sure Mr. Filbert had all the acorns he needed, when he needed them. When it was complete, the berry division would provide inexpensive berries for everyone in The Land, provide a lot Woodland creatures with jobs, and generate a nice profit for Mr. Filbert. It was all very exciting, and Plujo was happy to be a part of such an important investment.

Chapter 9: Espionage

The long, creepy procession of snakes swam out of the swamp and crossed The River. There might have been twenty of them. As they journeyed, The Land became drier and the flora became taller and more alive. The algae and rotten trunks gave way to taller and tougher foliage, rooted in rich soil and bathed in bright, cool sunlight. As they proceeded, the Commanders, Yosef and Vladmir, hissed warnings to their cohorts to remain silent and hidden.

The Woods appeared in front of them, but Yosef and Vladmir halted the column. They might attract unwanted attention if they got any closer. The snakes split into two groups. One went east and one west, with orders to stay a safe distance from The Woods. “And ssstay quiet!” Vladmir had commanded, “The batsss hear everything.” Their objective was simple. Find a weakness.

The spies slowly and purposefully encircled The Woods, stopping every now and then to observe the activity, or lack thereof, at that location. They moved and watched for what seemed like days. The western group had to wait until nightfall to cross north through Dunwoody Grove. They used lookouts to ensure they crossed the main path only when the night was darkest and they were sure no one was looking, and continued on to the north side of The Woods.

The two groups reconvened on the northern side of The Woods, after completely examining the entire boundary. They observed with particular interest the creatures that entered and left. They found that the bats had all the entrances covered with strong patrols. The hawks approached unimpeded from above. And the few gophers that came in from The Plains usually were carrying shipments of grasses inbound, and acorns outbound.

The groups met up, and the two lead snakes thought up a strategy.

“All the entrancesss are guarded, Vladmir.”

“Yesss, but there are many creaturesss about.”

“The gophersss come in from The Plainsss.”

“And the hawksss from The Peaksss.”

“And the batsss…”

“From The Cavernsss.”

“The munksss trade with all of them,”

“And there isss nothing for usss.”

They paused, and gazed towards the sky. Another hawk was overhead, heading inbound. It carried a harness full of bentgrass, with a single passenger, a gopher holding on in the rear. Two bats escorted it into The Woods, to complete its delivery. It would probably leave The Woods later in the day with a load of nuts. The hawk disappeared into the trees, and they saw another approach, with another full harness for delivery. More bats flew by on patrol.

“What if they didn’t come?” Yosef asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Thessse other creaturesss…they help the munksss. They sssupply The Woodsss. They protect them.”

“The munksss pay them well.”

“What if there were no sssupplies? What if there were no transssport? What if there were no…protection?”

“The Woodsss would rot.”

“We need to cut off their sssuppliesss.”

“Yesss.”

“Cut their transssport…Thin out their defenssses.”

“Then we could ssstrike!”

“Yesss!”

The leaders crawled back to the rest of the group, “You!” Yosef shouted at one of them.

“Yesss, Commander!”

“I want you to go to The Cavernsss. Convince the filthy batsss to back off.”

He turned to another snake, “You go The Peaksss. Cut off their transssportation lines.”

“And you!” He addressed a third snake. “Travel to The Plains, find a way to reduccce the grasss shipmentsss to The Woodsss.”

Yosef turned back to Vladmir, and the rest of the snakes. “Come, my fellow snakesss. Let usss return to The Ssswamp, there is much to report to The King.”

Chapter 8: Entry Level

The Nut Production department was the hub of the Nut-ro-Soft Company. Its capacity was four thousand nuts a day, and it could go as high as five with a little overtime. The room was designed so that it had access to the colossal hardwoods just outside at multiple levels. The elevators were adjustable, so that the munks had access to branches at different heights. There were ten of them, with at least three more under construction.

Climbers rode the elevators up to the branches, each with a praying mantis used to clip the nuts. They used sturdy baskets to send them down on the conveyors. Once at the bottom, Haulers inspected the nuts, sorted them, and transferred them from the conveyors to rail carts, and the carts full of nuts were automatically moved through a tunnel to the Shipping Department. Wheelers powered the machinery at the base of each elevator-conveyor system, as well as the rail cart systems. And there were always a few lizards on the shop floor. They had a talent for maintaining the machinery, and Mr. Filbert considered it well worth the extra expense to relocate them from The Plains. Nut-ro-Soft couldn’t afford to have a line down for too long.

For this reason, the lizards were paid the most. It was hard to find a good lizard. The Climbers were next—it was the most dangerous job, and required good decision-making and quick thinking. Then the Haulers, who had to handle and inspect the nuts, and served as quality control. The Wheelers, while important to the overall success of the department, were paid the least. Any munk could become a Wheeler, as long as he was reliable and fairly healthy. If a Wheeler showed promise or smarts, he could often get promoted to Hauler, and then maybe Climber.

Seedler oversaw the whole operation. The employees were already well-trained, knew their jobs, and took pride in the quality of their work, so there wasn’t really a lot for him to do. He walked the shop floor, made sure everyone got their breaks, and left right at five o’clock. He sometimes counted all the nuts coming out of the department, making sure there were at least four thousand, and there were, every day. He watched the lizards tinker with the machinery, tightening screws and oiling the cogs. He made sure the workers had everything they needed to work efficiently, and he even had to order the Climbers a fresh supply of praying mantises. They tended to get worn out.

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Meanwhile, Plujo was doing well in the Shipping Department. He was always on time, and he never left early. He was shipping nuts to all regions of The Land. He got along great with Fex, and with all the other munks he worked with. He was friendly with all the hawks, and got to know their schedules and how they liked their harnesses packed. Even the dragonflies liked him, because he handled them gently, and always thanked each one when they delivered the next sales order.

After a few weeks, Fex recommended him for a raise. Ms. Hazel was most impressed, and he got it. Six acorns a day. Even Mr. Filbert began to hear about the new superstar in the Shipping Department, and sometimes he ducked into the warehouse just to watch Plujo work. Eventually, he had seen enough. He decided to see if Plujo could handle other jobs within the company, and offered him a job in the Sales Department. Plujo accepted.

The next week, Plujo reported to the Sales Manager, an extra-skinny woodchuck named Snickers, for his new job as an Order Taker. “Call me Snick,” he told Plujo when he introduced himself. He showed Plujo his new desk, which was equipped with a blank order book and a cricket, and Plujo took his seat with the others in the room.

“This is a crucial department at Nut-ro-Soft,” Snick began. “The whole process starts here. If we’re not selling, then we don’t ship, and then everyone’s out of work. We need you to answer the crickets, take the orders, and get them down to Shipping as quickly and politely as possible. The dragonflies are here to help you.” Plujo understood. When he was in the Shipping Department, he simply accepted the orders and shipped them out. Now, he was the munk creating the orders. All the different jobs, all the different departments, were closely connected. One didn’t succeed—or even exist—without the other.

Snick continued, “This is a commission outfit, Plujo, you’ll get one acorn for every order you take, so if you work hard, you can earn a lot of acorns on this job.” Plujo mulled this over. If he didn’t take any orders, he wouldn’t get paid. Not good. But if he worked hard, did a good job and took a lot of orders, he could earn plenty. His pay was directly related to his output. He would definitely give this job his all.

Plujo sat down at his new desk, and his cricket chirped. Snick glanced expectantly at Plujo, and then at the cricket, indicating that Plujo should answer it and get started. He picked up the cricket and said, “Hello, Nut-ro-Soft Company, how can I help you?” Snick gave Plujo an encouraging pat on the shoulder and left him to do his new job.

Plujo was polite to all of his customers, and cordially asked them how many nuts they needed. Some callers just asked him questions, like how much they charged, or how long it would take to deliver. Plujo was on his cricket all day long, taking orders and answering questions. It wasn’t easy. In fact, even though his chair was comfortable, and he didn’t have to lift heavy bags of nuts, he thought it was just as hard a job as the one he had in Shipping.

Plujo took ten orders his first day, so Snick would pay him ten acorns. If he kept it up, he’d finally be able to save a few nuts for the winter, and maybe even have enough left over to go out on the town for a little playtime. He worked even harder the next day, and took eleven orders, making eleven acorns, and eventually he began to take fifteen orders, and earn fifteen acorns, every day. That was more than he made in Shipping, and it was even more than he could gather back in The Tiny Grove.

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It was obvious to Plujo that the Nut-ro-Soft Company had it right. Back in The Tiny Grove, he had worked all day gathering nuts all by himself. Nobody helped him, and he could usually find about ten, which he shared with his fellow munks and Seedler. Unfortunately, with only himself doing the gathering, he saw that there just wasn’t going to be enough to go around.

Mr. Filbert, and Nut-ro-Soft, on the other hand, employed hundreds of munks, some woodchucks, and even a few gophers and lizards. Each had an important, specialized job, usually one that he, or she, was good at, and each employee contributed to the gathering, selling, and delivering of the acorns in some way. Contribute more, get more acorns. The harder the job, and the better you did it, the more acorns you got. The more acorns you got, the more you could do with them. You could buy a few things to make your burrow nicer, go out for some fun in The Woods, save for a cold winter, or share them with your fellow rodents. You could do almost anything. It was up to you.

Mr. Filbert was wealthier than anyone in The Woods. He started out gathering, just like Plujo. But then he had an idea. He didn’t like waiting for the acorns to drop to the ground. It took too long. So he made a pulley and basket out of grass and sticks, and he had a partner pull him up to a branch, where he could reach the acorns that hadn’t dropped yet. He found that he could gather double the acorns, so he and his partner split them. He used some of his acorns to buy more grasses, and made another pulley and basket. He taught two more munks how to do it. More nuts. He did it again and again, investing in more pulleys and baskets, employing more munks, and gathering more nuts.

Then he came up with a way to do it even better than that. He realized how tired he was at the end of the day, and how tired the employees who worked the pulleys and baskets were too. He also realized that they could probably gather more nuts if the pulleys were stronger and faster. He asked everyone how they thought he should do it, when eventually a couple of lizards suggested the conveyor-elevator systems, powered by the wheels on the ground. One wheel could lift more munks to the branches and haul hundreds of acorns to the ground. Mr. Filbert saved up his own acorns, and used them to buy a big oak tree in The Woods. He hired the lizards to build the system, and it worked so well that he built another, and then another. He thought of a catchy name for his company, Nut-ro-Soft, and put a big sign on the front of the tree.

Eventually he had more nuts than he knew what to do with. So he began to trade them for grasses and stones from the gophers and lizards in The Plains, far to the east of The Woods. He set up the Sales Department. At first it was just a couple of counters that traded bentgrass for acorns, but then he found that most gophers didn’t want to leave The Plains, so he set up the phone center. He signed a trade agreement with the hawks, from The Peaks to the north, to transport the acorns to The Plains. He also set up the Shipping Department to load and unload cargo. With good ideas and sound investments, Mr. Filbert became the biggest employer in The Woods, and paid everyone that worked for him on time.

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Plujo’s promotion created a job opening in the Shipping Department. Fex recognized that Plujo had been the best Shipper he had ever had, so he requested two munks to replace him. Mr. Filbert understood and agreed, and in the meantime, he could use two of the Wheelers from the Nut Production Department. Seedler would need to hire their replacements. He asked Ms. Hazel to place a classified ad in The Woodland Times, and at the Employment Bureau.

Ms. Hazel’s job was to schedule interviews the following week. She had received several applications in the mail, and several more from the Employment Bureau. The process was for Ms. Hazel and Seedler to look over the applications together and decide whom she was to interview. It should have been simple.

She called Seedler to schedule a meeting, but he wasn’t there, so she left him a message. Mr. Filbert’s state-of-the-art crickets could remember a hundred messages for thirty days. Seedler never called her back. Over the next couple of days, she walked by his office a lot, but the door was always closed. She knocked a few times, but he didn’t open the door. She assumed he was in a meeting and didn’t want to be disturbed. Once, she was even brave enough to try the knob, but it was locked. A few times, she took a peek in the Nut Production Department, but she supposed her timing was bad, because she never found him there, either.

After a week, they hadn’t talked with anyone, and the Wheeler jobs were still open. Ms. Hazel was at her wits end. Then, finally, on a Tuesday—or maybe it was a Wednesday—at about two thirty in the afternoon, she ran into Seedler ambling down the hallway, munching on a bag of almonds.

“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to meet with you for a week.”

“I’ve been very busy. It’s not easy, making sure all the employees get their breaks.” He burped a little.

“Have you been in the break room all this time?”

“Of course not. Sometimes I allow the employees to go out. On Friday, I took everyone to The Macadamia Room for a group lunch.”

“A group lunch?” she sniped. “Well, I’ll be looking forward to seeing your expense report.” She was visibly irate. “When are we going to pick out applicants to interview for the Wheeler jobs.”

“Wheeler jobs?”

“Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“Of course not,” he lied. “But it just so happens that I’ve found two fine munks for the Wheeler jobs.” He was really thinking on his feet, now. “They start on Tuesday.”

“Tuesday?”

“Yes, the problem is solved,” he smiled.

“Well, can you give me their names? I have preparations to make. They need badges, tax forms, and we need to do a background check.”

“You will have their names first thing in the morning. No need for a background check. I can vouch for them.”

Ms. Hazel was a little concerned. She always interviewed new employees herself. She was pretty good at it, and could usually spot a slacker a mile away. Well, if Seedler says it’s okay…she thought, and she headed back to her office..

Seedler went back to his office and locked the door. Where was he going to find two Wheelers by Tuesday? That was less than a week away.

Just then, his cricket rang. He picked it up. “Hello?”

Fate smiled on Seedler that day, and he knew it as he listened to the caller on the other end.

“Why, yes, we do have two openings at the Nut-Ro-Soft Company.”

He paused again while the caller spoke. Then answered, “We need two Wheelers. We need them quickly.”

Another pause. Then he answered, “Yes, we do have a dental plan. When can you start?”

Pause…”Excellent, I’ll see you on Tuesday…By the way, what are your names? Cuffy and Carol? From The Tiny Grove? Yes, this is Seedler…I’m glad you remember…I’ll see you then. Goodbye.”

Whew! he thought. That was close. What a stroke of luck. He would have had some real explaining to do if Tuesday came and he didn’t have two new Wheelers at the front door. Luckily, it had all worked out. The next morning, he stopped by Ms. Hazel’s office and told her the names of the two new employees—Cuffy and Carol—munks, from The Tiny Grove.

Ms. Hazel smiled, although she was still a bit leery of the whole situation, and replied, “Thank you, Mr. Seedler. I’m sure they’ll work out.”

Chapter 7: Welcome Aboard

Plujo arrived at the entrance to Nut-ro-Soft at precisely eight o’clock. He entered a main lobby that was decorated with simple but comfortable chairs, a larger than life statue of Mr. Filbert. Hanging on the walls were several pretty, framed posters with motivational captions like “COURAGE” and “PERSISTANCE”, and a copy of The Woodland Times with a front page picture of a young woodchuck and a scary-looking hawk shaking hands. At the far end was an official looking desk, behind which sat a bat. Above the desk was a sign that read, “Security—New Hires Check In Here”.

Plujo approached the desk. “Excuse me, sir. I’m Plujo. Today’s my first day at work.”

The bat checked a list he had behind the desk and squeaked, “Yes, Mr. Plujo, they’re expecting you. Please sign in.” He handed Plujo the list, and Plujo checked off his name and jotted down the time he had arrived—eight a.m.

As he returned the form, Seedler arrived, and approached the security bat, “Excuse me, my good bat, could you be so kind as to tell me where I might find Mr. Filbert. I have an important meeting with him today at eight o’clock.”

The bat handed Seedler the check-in list, and he checked off his name and wrote “8:00” next to it. The bat turned to look at a clock on the wall behind him and noticed it was 8:05. But Seedler was important-looking enough that the bat didn’t make a big stink out of it.

He gave back the list to the security bat, who gave them both badges with their names and titles. Plujo’s read “SHIPPING,” and Seedler’s read “MANAGER”. As he did, a door opened behind the desk, and Plujo recognized Ms. Hazel, accompanied by a distinguished-looking woodchuck dressed in a suit, with small round glasses and a handlebar mustache. He looked just like the giant statue behind them.

“Seedler, Plujo, right on time, I see.” The bat overheard this and rolled his eyes. “This is Mr. Filbert, CEO of Nut-ro-Soft.”

Mr. Filbert shook paws with Seedler and Plujo and said, “Welcome aboard, gentlemen. I’m sure you both will be great assets to Nut-ro-Soft. Let me show you around the plant before you get started.” He turned to Seedler and spoke directly to him, “Ms. Hazel tells me you’ll make a great manager. I’m putting you in charge of the production line. Come this way.”

The four of them left the lobby through the door in back of the security desk, and they entered a long hallway with burrows and hollows on either side. As they entered, Mr. Filbert continued, “Plujo, you’ll start off working in Shipping. Seedler, I need you to take over Nut Production. It’s the most important department in our entire company.”

As they walked further down the hall, Mr. Filbert began to point out different departments in the company. He directed them to a hollow on the left, “Over here is our sales office where we take the orders.” They peeked in and saw a busy room with a group of small desks in a line, with munks taking calls using crickets. They continued on to the next hollow

“And over here is our Bean Counting department.” Again, they peered into the hole, and saw four munks with visors in cubicles. They each were typing on an adding machine, a small box with mosquitoes scratching important-looking numbers on leaves. They continued further to a small burrow.

“Out here’s our new website.” Mr. Filbert proudly announced. Through the hole they saw a gigantic spider web, with a large but exhausted spider flinging acorns into the distance, using the webbing as a slingshot. “I don’t really understand how it works, but it’s the wave of the future!”

“Back here is the break room.” It was a small room with a table and two chairs. At the table, there were two gophers drinking from mugs, and a vending machine labeled Almond Joy. “You can take two breaks every day.”

“Through here is the shipping department. Plujo, you’ll start out here.” They looked through and saw a large warehouse. On the well-organized shelves were thousands of nuts of various types, as well as grasses, pebbles, shells, sticks, and leaves that served different purposes within the company. Across the warehouse, there were two large bay doors leading outside. Both were open, and the group could see delivery hawks outside the door, delivering harnesses full of supplies and shipping harnesses full of acorns. Plujo noticed that there were munks loading and unloading the harnesses for the hawks, and gasped with fear, but Mr. Filbert noticed and reassured him, “Don’t worry, son. They look mean, but they won’t eat you. We signed a contract with the hawks from The Peaks last year. Nuts for Air Transport. The Hawks can fly shipments of nuts all the way to The Plains. It’s what they do best, and it’s very efficient.

“We ship nuts all over The Land. We ship to east to The Plains, for grasses and pebbles. Grasses are The Woods’ biggest import. We use bentgrass for ropes, cables, and belts. We use hollow reeds for pipes and plumbing. Bluestem and grama come in handy, too. Almost all of it comes from The Plains. The gophers are terrific farmers. Nut-ro-Soft is their biggest customer. We’d be dead in the water if we couldn’t get any.

We ship north to The Peaks, and in return we get shipping services. And we ship down to The Caverns for security. We have trade agreements with the gophers, the hawks, and the bats.

They reached the end of the hallway, and there was a large hollow at the end labeled “Nut Production”.

“And finally, Nut Production! This is where it all happens!” Mr. Filbert was very proud. “Gentlemen, I built this company from the ground up. Started out with just a little burrow and a lot of sweat. At first I didn’t know if it would work, and I worked twelve-hour days gathering nuts all by myself. But, I made a few smart decisions, hired a few good munks, and here we are today—the number one supplier of acorns and chestnuts to The Land. Next year, we’re going to really expand our new berry division!”

They entered the enormous factory-like hollow and it was alive with activity. Munks with hardhats rode elevators up to dizzying heights to large branches from trees just outside the production room. There were automatic conveyor belts carrying acorns from higher limbs to the floor below. At the base, several munks were running in place in wheels, powering the elevators and conveyors above them. On the floor, there was a railway system, and more munks loading the nuts from the conveyors into rail carts that transported them out to the warehouse. Toward the left of the room to the rear, there was a lizard making a presentation to a group of other lizards, showing them blueprints for a new conveyor belt that would be built on that side of the room. This was an operation that could produce thousands of nuts every day.

Plujo gazed out with wonder and excitement. He remembered what Mr. Filbert had said, that all this had started from one small burrow, probably one like Plujo himself had now, and that with hard work and smart decisions, Mr. Filbert had created the top nut producing company in The Land. And that gave Plujo hope. If he could do it, so can I.

“Ms. Hazel, take Plujo down to Shipping and get him started,” said Mr. Filbert. “Seedler, I need you to keep this operation running smoothly. We need to gather four thousand nuts a day. I will be away for a while…I’m going on vacation next week, and then on a long business trip. I’ll be looking for the best places in The Woods to gather berries. I know I’m leaving my Nut Production department in capable hands. Come on, I’ll show you to your office.”

Ms. Hazel and Plujo returned to the Shipping Department, where Ms. Hazel introduced Plujo to the shipping foreman, a large gopher named Fex. She left and Fex began to train Plujo for his new job.

“Glad to have you, Plujo. You’ll be taking orders from the Sales Department and loading the product for shipping.” Plujo listened intently.

“First you take the order,” Fex continued, and, on cue, a dragonfly carrying an order written on a leaf flew overhead. Fex reached up, plucked the dragonfly out of the air, and took the order. The dragonfly flew back towards the Sales Department for another order. Fex elaborated, “We use these dragonflies for inter-office memos…very efficient.”

He continued the training, “Then you read the order carefully…

“Then you pick…” he pointed to the nuts on the shelves.

“pack…” He pointed to a stack of nuts, bagged up with leaves and tied up with reeds in front of the service bays.

“and ship it with the hawk,” and he finally pointed to a bored-looking hawk waiting outside with an empty harness.

“Then you come back, and do it again, all day long. Got it?”

Plujo nodded his head energetically. “Got it!” Then he reached up and snatched his first dragonfly, and Fex walked away to do other foreman duties, leaving Plujo to his new job. As the day progressed, Plujo must have shipped fifty orders. He was a natural, and as Fex checked in on him from time to time, he complimented Plujo on his great attitude and persistence.

Chapter 6: The Evil Empire

The majestic oak must have lived been a hundred years. It must have been dead for a hundred more. All that was left now was a thick, rotten trunk jutting out from the dead, putrid marsh. Most of it had toppled over a long time ago, and lay at the bottom, slowly festering into the slime. The two snakes, their backs red with scars, approached it humbly, and climbed up on a meager limb.

“We have returned, Sssire.”

Upon their announcement, a frog silently hopped away, the water at the base of the trunk stirred, and a giant, evil head emerged and encircled the trunk. It writhed around and around, slowly ascending, it’s never-ending body gripping the stump until it had reached the top. Fully emerged, it was twice the size of the two scout-snakes. It coiled and reared atop the trunk and addressed the nervous pair.

“Yosssef, Vladmir, did you find the entranssse?” the giant snake hissed.

“Yesss, my King, but The Woodsss are well-fortified.”

The King Snake leered as his scouts relayed their findings.

“There were batsss, Sssire.”

“Yesss. Batsss…as thick as The Ssswamp’s morning fog.”

“The batsss hear everything.”

“They sssee in the dark.”

“They attack without fear.”

“They protect the munksss…”

“Look at usss!”

As they talked, an army of Swamp soldiers, hundreds, crept over to listen in on the meeting. The King Snake hissed in anger, “The Woodsss are fertile, and ripe with munksss. They ssscurry about all day with no fear, while we sssurvive on toads and beetles in thisss fessstering bog.”

One them replied, “All of the ungrateful little mice have fled The Ssswamp.

The other, “There are none left.”

“Yesss, they fled to The Woodsss…”

“To essscape usss.”

“And to find nutsss.”

“We only ate a few…”

“Yesss, only a few…”

“Each day…”

“Only a few each day...”

“Yesss, we each only ate a few each day!”

“SSSILENSSSE!” ordered the King Snake, and the others all recoiled in fear. “We mussst find a way into The Woodsss. It will be difficult. They have formed partnershipsss with all the creatures in The Land. The batsss from The Caverns are ssskilled in sssecurity and defenssse. They trade grassses with the gophersss from The Plainsss. The hawkssss of The Peaksss fly them about. The munksss’ alliance with them has kept usss out for far too long. Find me a way in! Increassse your sssurveillance. Sssend ssspies to all the cornersss of The Land. I want the munksss’ great sssity for my own! To rule it…to control it…to feed on it…I want every one of the little cave ratsss to cower before me in terror!”

The scouts were clearly intimidated. “Yesss, Sssire, we will find a way in.” They called to the crowd, “Come, letsss go. There mussst be a way into thossse woodsss.”

Chapter 5: Cash is King

The next morning Seedler awoke to a brief rustling at the door of his room. He got out of bed and opened the door slightly. It was just the bellboy leaving him the morning paper, The Woodland Times. A nice touch, he thought, and he brought it in. He did a few deep knee bends, and splashed a little water on his face before he glanced at the headlines. One caught his attention.

.

.

Bat Patrol Foils Another Snake Attack

by

Gilbert Gopher

Staff Writer

Authorities report that the Southside Bat Patrol intercepted and prevented an attempted snake attack on the southern border of The Woods late last night. Security reports indicate that two snakes allegedly attempted to infiltrate a small, unguarded gap in the border. The snakes allegedly advanced to approximately ten feet from the gap when they got excited and ruffled a pile of leaves, alerting Bat Patrol to the threat.

Bat Patrol Captain and Southside Air Platoon leader, Ike D. Bat, when asked how they were able to fight off the snakes, responded, “We couldn’t have done it without Sergeant Oliver. He heard a suspicious noise and went to check it out. Once he identified the threat, he followed platoon security procedures to a tee, sent a radar to the rest of the squad, and we responded immediately and eliminated the threat. The whole incident was handled pretty much by the book.”

Last year The Woods and The Caverns entered into a trade agreement, The Caverns provide security for The Woods in return for nuts. Everyone agrees that the bats’ security services are best in The Land, mostly because they can fly, see in the dark, and, unlike our hawk allies to the north, have no latent desire to eat munks.

This morning, we contacted The Woods Mayor Cashew Micks for comment. He reports, “I’m delighted with the results of the new security patrols. Before, we just tried to beat them off with sticks, and we always lost a few good munks, but since we made the deal with the bats, snake attacks are down seventy percent. They truly have a talent for the work, and are worth every acorn we’re paying them.”

Bat Patrol has promised an increased presence along the southern border, which has been particularly susceptible to snake attacks originating from The Swamp. Mayor Micks has put his full support behind providing increased funding required to train and deploy more bat patrols. He continues to make security his number one priority as mayor of The Woods.

He finished reading and headed down to the lobby. There were a few munks waiting to check out at the reception desk, and munk bellboys were helping other guests with their suitcases. Seedler walked out the entrance and passed two new doormen, the dayshift. He greeted them with a meager, “Good morning”.

Both doormen replied in unison, “Have a good day, Sir.” As Seedler started down the street, he quite literally bumped into Plujo, headed purposefully in the opposite direction.

“Excuse me…” Plujo said, and then he recognized his old neighbor. “Oh, it’s you Seedler…”

Seedler recognized Plujo at once, “Yes, Plujo. You seem very busy this morning…”

“Well, I just got into The Woods yesterday, and I had to find a place to stay. So I went to the real estate office and they found me a condo. It’s not much, but it’s safe. No snakes around. I still had a few acorns left from the old neighborhood, but I used them for a deposit, so I need to get a job. I heard that Nut-ro-Soft might be hiring.”

“Nut-ro-Soft?”

“It’s a big outfit here in The Woods. Makes the whole place go.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, I don’t know what The Woods would do without it. They ship nuts all over The Land. It’s a very important company.”

Upon hearing this, Seedler became more interested. He’d need some nuts himself. He asked, “How many nuts do you think they have?”

Plujo replied, “Oh, it’s huge, they must ship thousands, even…millions!”

Seedler’s eyes widened even more. He began to think about the possibilities. Back in The Tiny Grove, He had controlled only a pawful of acorns. But he had spread the wealth, and spread happiness to a majority of the munks there, even though it was only for a short time. He began to imagine sharing millions of acorns with all the creatures in the land. And eventually all would love him, because he was just and fair.

“…but I’m happy to start at the bottom and work my way up.” Then Plujo changed the subject. “So how are Cuffy and Carol?”

The question nudged Seedler back into the conversation. “I’m sure they are well. They seemed very…ummm…hopeful.”

“They should come here too. Plenty of nuts to go around in The Woods. You should call them.”

“Err…yes, perhaps I will.”

“Well, I’m off to find a job.” Plujo said, wrapping up the conversation, “Have a good day.”

“Goodbye, Plujo.”

As Plujo walked away, Seedler remembered how Cuffy and Carol had liked him and agreed with him. And Plujo was right, there were more nuts to go around here. He would call them, and bring them to The Woods to help him in his new endeavors.

Plujo was still within earshot, and Seedler called out to him, “Plujo, I would like to call Cuffy and Carol, do you have a mobile?”

Plujo turned around and replied, “Oh, not yet, but I saw a department store up the road that way,” and he pointed in the opposite direction. “You should be able to get one there.”

Seedler thanked the kind munk and started in the direction Plujo had pointed. He walked past several big trees on the way. Finally he came to a big parking lot, and he looked up and there was the biggest scarlet oak he had seen in The Woods yet. Over the giant entrance hollow, there was the biggest sign he had seen yet. “Walnut Mart”. The “W” was the size of a mountain. He felt rather ordinary on his approach to the giant opening.

Just past the entrance there were shopping carts and checkout lanes, and beyond them were various aisles and departments that seemed to cover every need a rodent could have. There were cleaning nectars, little diapers made of leaves, creative toys, household goods, little brooms made of various debris from the forest, and, over to the left, a big display case with a sign over it that read, “Mobiles”. There was a munk behind the case, within which were a variety of crickets, awake but noticeably bored. Seedler approached the display case.

“Good day, I was looking for a mobile. I’ve only just arrived into The Woods, and it’s obvious I’m not going to get very far without one.”

The munk replied, “Very good, sir, we have several models,” and he gestured down into the case. Starting from the left he pointed at each one.

“This one keeps its charge all day…” the cricket darted energetically to and fro, as if to demonstrate its advantages.

“This one has roaming charges,” and the sales clerk sneered a bit. The cricket cleared is throat and shrugged.

“This one is nice…it has Bluetooth,” and the cricket smiled to reveal an enormous single bright blue tooth.

“But this one is my favorite…nice and clear sound, and no dropped calls,” and he pointed to a sleek looking model on the end. The cricket stood upright and looked…reliable. It sang, “Mee Mee Mee Meeeeeeee!”

“Can I try that one?” Seedler asked.

“Absolutely, sir! No problem.” He removed the sleek looking cricket from the case and passed it over to his customer.

Seedler held the cricket up to his ear and tested it, “Can you hear me now?” The cricket nodded enthusiastically.

“I’ll take this one.”

“Certainly, sir. Excellent choice. That will be fifty acorns”.

“Fifty? That’s very expensive.”

“Oh, yes sir. This is our best model.”

Seedler was a little surprised it was so much, but, in the end, decided that he should have a good, high-quality mobile cricket. “Very well, here’s my card.” He handed the clerk his Chestnut Express card.

The sales clerk took the credit card and replied, “Thank you sir, it will be just a minute.” Seedler looked around aimlessly as the clerk swiped the card into a slit in a small, box-like contraption with a screen, which was hooked up to a smaller cricket by its antennae. The cricket hummed its hind legs together for a moment, paused, and hummed again as it received some kind of communication in response.

The screen lit up with the word, “DECLINED”. The sales clerk looked suspiciously at Seedler, and tried again. Same result. The clerk called over to Seedler with a nervous laugh, “Excuse me, sir. There seems to be a problem with your card. Do you have another one?”

Seedler, somewhat embarrassed, replied, “What seems to be the problem?” The clerk pointed to the machine, which still read “DECLINED”. A munk was waiting in line behind him, watching the whole ordeal and snickering at Seedler’s mishap.

Seedler loosened his collar, and replied, “Well, I wonder why that would happen?”

The sales clerk, propped his head up with his elbow resting on the case. “Well, you could be over your limit…”

Seedler was annoyed, and the munk behind him snickered even more loudly.

“…or you could have a late payment…”

Seedler was even more agitated. “Now look here! I’ve never…”

“It’s okay, sir,” the clerk winked. “It happens to the best of us. What about cash?”

“Cash?”

“Yeah, cash, nuts, acorns, moolah, cold hard currency.”

“I don’t have fifty acorns right now, sir.” Seedler replied, now extremely embarrassed.

“What’s the matter, don’t you have a job?”

“A job?”

The clerk elaborated, snidely, “Yeah, a job, a profession, you know…where someone pays you…to do something you’re good at.”

“I know what a job is! But I’ve never had a job. I am far too important for menial labor,” he announced proudly, “because I am just and fair.”

“I’m sure you are, sir, “the clerk replied sarcastically. “Look, I can’t just give you the cricket. I’d like to, but the Walnut Mart can’t just give away the goods. They’d be out of business, and then I’d be out of a job. I’ve got munklings to feed.”

Seedler didn’t appreciate the lecture. But the clerk continued, “I’ll give you a little advice. Back up the road. Go six trees…on the right. They helped me get my job here. Next, please!”

Seedler stepped back, offended, and the snickering munk behind him pushed forward to the counter to finally be waited on. He turned around and left the store through the hollow marked “Exit”. He was the only one leaving empty-handed.

He thought about the advice the sales clerk had given him. Get a job? How would he share his wisdom with the world if he were busy all the time with a job? He walked back towards the hotel, intending to use the cricket in his room. But as he approached the entrance, the one of the bow tied bellboys recognized him, and stopped him in front of the doorway.

“Excuse me sir. There’s a message for you.”

Seedler repeated, somewhat surprised, “A message?”

“Yes, please wait here.”

The bellboy stepped into the hotel lobby while Seedler waited, but he quickly returned out front with the desk clerk from the night before. He resumed his position of standing next to the door looking straight ahead. The receptionist approached Seedler.

“Mr. Seedler?”

“Yes?”

“Mr. Seedler, we got a cricket this morning from the Chestnut Express Company. They said you were over your credit limit.”

“What??!!”

Then she whispered, “they told us about the Walnut Mart. Most unfortunate…”

Seedler’s face became deep red with embarrassment.

“We at the Maple Leaf understand that these things can happen. But we’ll have to ask you to leave until you work out your problems with the credit card company. I’ll need your key.”

Seedler, too frustrated and embarrassed to argue anymore, reached in his pocket and handed over the key.

The desk clerk checked carefully to ensure that it was the correct key, then cheerfully replied, “Thank you. Have a nice day!” She returned to the hotel lobby and slammed the door. Both of the bellboys leered distrustfully at Seedler until he got the message and walked away.

--------------------

Seedler took stock in his current situation. He had no food, no shelter, and no money. Maybe he should get a job. He obviously needed the acorns. And with the food, apartment, and services that the acorns would buy, he would be rested and well-nourished enough to seek his higher calling in The Land. With that, he decided to try out the advice of the sales clerk from the Walnut Mart and started back up the road. He passed more busy munks and gophers on the sidewalk, and busses whizzed by him back and forth. He walked cautiously by five or six other active business-trees, and then came across an older stump on the right. This must be the place. The small sign over the hollow read, “Employment Bureau”.

A little nervous, he paused directly in front of the Employment Bureau. He gathered his composure, fighting the notion that this was all a bit beneath him, and strolled confidently forward. A simple reception area welcomed him, in the center of which stood a dispenser that discharged numbered slips to keep track of who was next in line. There were forty or fifty chairs in three rows, in most of which sat hopeful job seekers—mostly munks, but also several gophers and at least one bat. In front, there was a long desk where the recruiters were working. Behind the recruiters were three or four offices where the recruiters did interviews. Seedler noticed there were only three recruiters, but no less than thirty applicants.

He took a number and found an empty chair in the back row, and looked to his left and saw that Plujo was sitting just next to him. Plujo noticed immediately and cheerfully greeted him.

“Why, hello, Mr. Seedler! I didn’t think I’d run into you here.”

Seedler was slightly embarrassed to be recognized so quickly, but politely responded, “Oh, hello, Plujo. How’s the job-hunt going.”

“Ugh! I’ve been here all morning! I’m number seventeen. They called me up once, to ask me where I was from, but then they told me to sit back down and fill out a couple of forms. Now I’m waiting to interview.

Seedler didn’t want to be stuck there all day waiting around. It didn’t seem like the best use of his time. He looked down at his number…thirty-eight. It would be a while. He looked away, rolling his eyes so that Plujo couldn’t see. Just then, a very fat munk recruiter called, “Number seventeen!” from behind the desk.

Plujo checked his number. “Whew! Finally! That’s me.” As he stood up, he wished Seedler good luck.

Seedler watched Plujo take two steps towards the desk, when an idea came to him. He quickly stood up himself and caught up to Plujo. He stopped him with a gentle pull of his forepaw, and politely pulled him aside.

“Plujo, my boy, would you mind terribly if I accompanied you to the interview? I’d like to speak with the recruiter, too. But, since I am a squirrel with premium leadership qualities, my time is far too valuable to wait in line. The company will immediately see that I must be in charge. And I’ll be able to put in a good word for you.”

That was a strange request. Plujo had patiently waited for his turn, and there were a lot of others in line. Seedler wanted to cut in front of them. He wanted the process to be faster just for him. It didn’t seem quite…fair.

On the other hand, having an important-looking squirrel like Seedler in the interview providing a stellar character reference could help him get the job, and maybe even a higher salary to start out. So he agreed, and they both followed the recruiter back to the interview rooms.

“Have a seat, Mr. Plujo,” the recruiter directed as they entered the room. Then she noticed that there were two applicants, and addressed Seedler as she took her own seat behind a small desk, “and who are you?”

“I am Seedler the Squirrel, and I am just and fair.” Seedler spoke in a poised, confident, but slightly intimidating voice.

“Well, that’s…um…nice…” said the recruiter. “Please have a seat. I’m Ms. Hazel. I’m the personnel manager with the Nut-ro-Soft Company…” She paused, smiled at both of them and noted, “We don’t usually interview two at once. I’m not sure where to start.” She studied the pair, noting that Seedler appeared more distinguished and important than Plujo, and started with him. “Now then, Mr. Seedler, you are obviously a squirrel…where are you from?”

“I am from an unknown, faraway land.”

Ms. Hazel jotted something down in her notebook. “I see. Now then, what kind of job are you looking for?”

Seedler immediately responded forcefully but politely, “I have much to offer. I am a great leader. Rodents of all kinds look to me for guidance.”

“So you are a manager?”

“Well, yes, I suppose so.”

“And what are your career goals?”

“To give everyone what is just and fair.”

Ms. Hazel, processed his response, jotted down a note, and asked him to elaborate, “So you are in human resources?”

Seedler answered, “Well, yes, I suppose so. I was the leader of The Tiny Grove. Plujo here worked for me. At least until he quit and came here.”

On the last comment, Ms. Hazel cast a suspicious glance at Plujo, then turned back to Seedler, enthralled with his charisma. He continued, “It was I who organized The Tiny Grove into a just and fair community, and provided acorns for all the munks who lived there.”

“Ahh, good, you do payroll, too. You certainly are multi-talented, Mr. Seedler!” She made another note, then switched to Plujo, “Mr. Plujo, you certainly are fortunate to have had the privilege to work with Mr. Seedler here. He seems to have all the leadership qualities we look for at Nut-ro-Soft. Now, according to your application, you’re obviously an excellent nut-gatherer, but if you didn’t want to work for Mr. Seedler, how can I be sure you’ll be a good employee for Nut-ro-Soft Corporation.

Plujo loosened his collar, and a few beads of sweat began to form on his brow. He smiled a nervous smile, and wondered if he’d have been better off making Seedler wait his turn. This was a real pressure-cooker of an interview, and he seemed to be the one getting all the hard questions. He explained, “Oh, I definitely want to work for Nut-ro-Soft. I want to work hard and work my way up! Climb the corporate ladder. I’ll gather so many nuts, you won’t know what to do with them all!”

“I’m sure you will, Mr. Plujo,” she replied disingenuously. “Tell me, what kind of wages were you looking for?”

Plujo became excited. He knew he was a hard worker, and good munks at Nut-ro-Soft could make as much as fifteen acorns a day. He planned to ask for fifteen, and he would settle at ten. He began to reply, “Ms. Hazel, I know I’ll be a good employee. You’ll see. I’m never late, and I never slack off. I’m easily worth fiftee…”

Seedler interrupted him in mid-sentence. “Excuse me, Plujo, I promised to put in a good word for you, and I always keep my promises. Ms. Hazel, you could do far worse than to hire Plujo here. He is a dedicated gatherer, is smart, and he only needs three acorns a day!” Plujo’s jaw dropped in shock. That was none of her business.

But Ms. Hazel’s face brightened up on the information. “Oh, that’s wonderful. You’re hired! I’ll even give you a raise—to five acorns a day!” she mused, as if she had done him a favor. “We want happy employees here at Nut-ro-Soft. Congratulations!”

Plujo slapped his face in disgust, and then looked up at Ms. Hazel and replied reluctantly, “Thanks, I’ll take the job.”

“You can start tomorrow at eight o’clock. Please be on time.”

Meanwhile, Ms. Hazel offered Seedler a management position. He would start at a whopping thirty acorns a day, plus benefits, including an upgraded suite at the Maple Leaf Hotel. They were shaking paws, and Ms. Hazel made an appointment to introduce the two new-hires to the CEO of Nut-ro-Soft and one of the wealthiest, most important rodents in The Land, Mr. Filbert.

Plujo left the Employment Bureau and walked towards his new burrow on the outskirts of The Woods, a burrow that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep, to have enough acorns to pay for. He was expecting a lot more in salary than he got. Seedler had said he wanted to help him, to put in a good word for him. He figured that Seedler really did have good intentions, and he certainly looked important enough to help. But, in the end, Seedler got a great job for himself, but just messed everything up for Plujo. He wondered if he could have gotten a better offer on his own, without Seedler’s help. Next time, he would trust in himself.

But now he was obligated, and he was a munk of his word, so he would be at work at eight o’clock tomorrow morning. And he would work hard. He would show them.

Chapter 4: National Defense

There were no stars in the night sky, and the moon sat behind a still cloud. The darkness was stifling. The water littered with muck and algae. Rotten stumps that a hundred years ago were majestic hardwoods, protruded from shallow pools, the long-dead roots barely clinging to the soft, murky bottom. Tadpoles darted blindly through the black water, and the only noise was the creaking of old, worn trees in the breeze.

Above the shallows, a slow river flowed eastward. The River was only ten feet wide and a few feet deep at this point. The odd fish that swam this far upstream would quickly go hungry, or become a meal itself. The River would eventually pick up steam, but for now, was as still and quiet as The Swamp at its southern bank. The northern bank, while dry, was just as dark, and smelled just as rank. But some nights, like tonight, the northern bank wasn’t so still.

“I’m sssick of gnatsss and ssskinny frogsss.”

“Yesss, I am as well.”

“The Woodsss are fertile, and there are lotsss of munksss.

“But it isss dangerousss for usss.”

“I don’t care, I have to have sssome meat before I die of ssstarvation.”

“I ssshare your hunger, but you remember the lassst time.”

“Yesss, but we’ll be ready for them thisss time.”

“Are you sssure thisss will work?”

“Yesss, a beetle told me about an unguarded entranssse to The Woodsss as he begged me not to eat him”

“Ssso, the information isss reliable?”

“Yesss.”

“Where isss thisss beetle now?”

“He wasss dry and ssscrawny. Never again.”

After crossing the river from The Swamp, the two snakes crawled upward through the night. The vines became bushes, and bushes became trees, until finally they reached the edge of The Woods. There was no path from the south, as there was from the west from Dunwoody Grove. But there were always places where slithery snakes could squeeze into The Woods from the thick brush.

“I can sssmell them from here.”

“Yesss, ssso can I.”

“Let’sss go, my ssstomach is already growling.”

“Wait! Let’sss find the entranssse the beetle ssspoke of. A downed tree, hollowed and rotten. Thisss way.”

They slinked along the edge of The Woods, and found the fallen tree. It actually pointed towards a small gap in the trees forming the boundary. There were no signs of munks anywhere. They could certainly get in unnoticed from this area.

“Thisss is it.”

They started towards the gap, slowly at first. But as they got closer, the smell of munks became stronger, and the two snakes became hungrier and more excited. They started to move faster and faster, and the gap appeared larger and more reachable to their eyes. Once they were in, they could hide anywhere, and sneak up on munks for as long as they cared to eat.

They were almost in when one of the snakes slid over a dry branch. It rustled over a small clump of leaves. It made a slight ruffling sound that disturbed the quiet night air. The second snake looked over to his accomplice and warned, “Quiet! We’re almossst there.”

Just then, they heard a whoosh and felt a swift gust of air overhead. Then another whoosh. Then another. They heard a piercing screech, and then two, then three screeches one after the other. The snakes reared upright, and one took a thump to the back of its head. Then the other was scratched on its back. Then the first one was hit twice in the face. Then screeches began to fill the night air, coming from the left, right, and overhead. The snakes were flailing around, desperately seeking the source of the horrible noises. Suddenly, they were surrounded. Scratching, squealing bats dive-bombed them relentlessly. The snakes snapped at the air in vain as the swooping bats clawed away the scales on their backs. The dislodged scales twirled around in the gusts from the bats flapping wings like confetti.

Realizing their only choice was to back off, or lose all their scales, the snakes retreated and slinked off back to The Swamp. At the gap, the bats regrouped, with the biggest one barking orders to the rest. He divided them into two platoons in formation, one to guard the gap for the rest of the night, the other to continue the regular patrol route. The Woods would be safe for another night.

Chapter 3: Checking In

As Seedler sauntered down the main drag of The Woods at dusk, the fireflies were starting to come out. Seedler saw that they made good streetlights, even if they did dart and flicker about. Behemoth trees, with munks filing out and in, lined the path through The Woods, each with some portions hollowed out, and big signs up front. Seedler saw trees that were factories, restaurants, banks, and general offices. Busses started and stopped in front of each tree, munks climbing in and out to go home or to work the night shift. Bats flew overhead on patrol. Alongside some of the trees, alleys were marked “Deliveries”, and sometimes he could see a hawk and munk bickering about how long it would take to unload a harness into a service bay. Within other trees, he could see the nightshifts of various businesses in high office hollows, working by firefly light. Just because it was evening didn’t mean that The Woods weren’t open for business.

Seedler came across a rather large, opulent looking tree with two munks standing at attention outside the hollowed entrance. They both were wearing little munk bow ties, and seemed to be waiting patiently for a chance to do something. Seedler approached one of them and asked, “Excuse me, sir. I was hoping you could help me. I’ve only arrived to The Woods tonight. Do you happen to know where I might find a place to sleep tonight, and perhaps a good place to have dinner?”

The doorman, expressionless, pointed up to a huge sign with lettering provided by firefly-light that blinked, “MAPLE LEAF HOTEL AND RESTAURANT”.

Seedler was slightly embarrassed, and thanked the doorman, who bowed and gestured into the hotel-tree. Seedler entered and saw a long reception desk straight ahead. There was a hallway marked “Meeting Rooms” on the left, and a large archway labeled “The Macadamia Room” on the right. That must be the restaurant, as he could see that the room was full with munk diners sitting at tables, while three or four tuxedoed gophers waited on them.

He crossed the threshold and approached the reception desk. A slender female munk greeted him, “Welcome to the Maple Leaf. Do you have a reservation?”

Seedler was slightly surprised, “Excuse me?”

“A reservation. Do you have one?”

“Ahem…no I don’t. I didn’t realize…”

“Oh, you should be okay, I think we have a few vacancies.”

“Well, great!”

“Did you want a hollow or a burrow?”

“A hollow, please.”

“Let’s see…yes…we have a hollow, and a nice one too, off a really thick branch off 3. How many nights?”

“Er…let’s say a week right now.”

“Very good sir, and did you need help with your bags?”

“No, thank you.”

“Great. That will be twenty-five acorns a night. I think you’ll be comfortable. And local phone calls are free. Nuts or charge?”

“Wh-What?”

“Nuts or charge? How did you want to pay?”

“Oh…of course…Charge, please.”

Seedler took out his wallet and presented his credit card. It was a silver Chestnut Express card.

The receptionist slid the card through a small contraption that appeared to make an imprint of the card on a paper-thin leaf. She filed the leaf in a drawer behind the desk and explained, “we just make an imprint for now. We’ll provide a detailed, itemized bill when you check out. You’re in 318.” She pointed up and to the left. “See it?”

Seedler followed the direction she pointed, “Yes, wonderful”

“Here’s your key,” and she handed him a primitive skeleton key made out of a twig, with an obnoxiously heavy woodchip tied to it that read, “318”. “Sorry about that, sir,” she said, referring to the heavy keychain. “Sometimes our guests walk away them. Enjoy your stay!”

There was no elevator, but Seedler, being a squirrel, climbed up to his door on the third level. It was made of fitted pine bark, “318” carved in the center, and had a keyhole into which he inserted the key. The room was nice enough. There was a bed with a pine straw mattress and pillows, and a nice big redwood leaf for a blanket. There was a washbasin made from imported oyster shells and thin, hollow reeds that pumped in clean water. There was a small painting on the wall of a mountain range. And finally, there was a block of wood next to the bed, upon which sat a firefly lamp and a cricket, asleep.

Seedler settled in, washed his face and paws, and tried out the bed. It was comfortable, too comfortable. He almost dozed off right then. He yawned and muttered to himself, “I’m so tired, I think I’ll skip the restaurant and just have room service tonight.”

The cricket on the nightstand overheard him and woke up. It asked Seedler, “You want me to call down for you?”

Seedler replied, “Yes, that’d be nice.”

He picked up the cricket and talked into it. “Hello? This is Seedler in 318, I’d like to order room service.”

The cricket, listening intently, nodded its head vigorously in understanding. Then it turned away from Seedler, took a breath, and rubbed its hind legs together, letting out a horrible, piercing grind that penetrated the door and travelled down to the front desk, where there was another cricket next to the receptionist. The cricket had been asleep, but awoke in response to the one in Seedler’s room.

“Brrrring, 318…Brrrring, 318”

The receptionist picked up the cricket, who repeated Seedler’s request to her. She replied matter-of-factly, “Just a moment, I’ll connect you.”

Her cricket chirped too, and another cricket, this one in the kitchen, rung for the chef, “Brrring…Room Service for 318!” A gopher in a chef’s hat picked up the cricket.

The network of crickets relayed the response back to Seedler, using their cricket-language of clicks and grinds, but Seedler’s cricket answered him in plain language, “Of course, what would you like, sir?”

Seedler ordered a chestnut and a berry juice, on the rocks, and the crickets relayed the order down to the kitchen using their annoying click-chirp-grind language, much to the dismay of the other patrons and hotel employees. After another exchange, his cricket relayed his total to him—five acorns—that included the tip. He hung up the cricket, and it wiped its brow with one if its antennae and whispered a quiet “Whew!” before going back to sleep.

Thirty minutes later, there was a knock on the door. A pimply-faced munk was there with the order. He thanked Seedler for the tip. Seedler replied with a “you’re welcome,” thanked the young munk for the delivery, and retreated back into the hollow. Tomorrow, he would explore the city.